A Tribute to My Husband's Mistress

I am black, but comely, ... Song of Solomon 1:5

I had met her before. A mutual friend had brought her to our home. She seemed friendly, inviting almost. I must admit, we were all drawn to her. She was slim, black and elegant. She was open and very responsive to everyone. We all enjoyed her that evening. A month after that encounter, I found out that my husband had been seeing her on occasion. It was at the home of the same friend that brought her to our house the 1st time. I wasn't alarmed by that really. I heard that there were other friends of ours at these vists as well, but still...he hadn't mentioned these rendez vous to me and that made me curious. According to my source the gatherings were innocently coincidental and nothing to worry about.
"...just people getting together for a little fun." the source would repeat.
And I did not worry, I did not inquire, and I did not investigate. I went on with my life happily married to my favorite guy. One day he sat me down and said, "Listen. We have to talk." He talked. I listened. It was then that he told me about... her. How he has been seeing her. He explained his need for her and how much fun they had together. The final blow...he wanted her to have a permanent place in our home. I didn't know what to say. He had said that he didn't want to make this decision without my input. Oddly enough I appreciated that. (Gosh it is so hard to type this) Many times in life you do things so that others can be happy. I am often guilty of this as I am sure many women are. Please don't judge me. I said yes. He promised that things between he and I would not change, that we'd have our room and she'd have hers and that if anything she'd be invisible to me. We had an extra room in our basement that she could stay in. So that was the arrangement. To be honest with you it didnt really bother me at first. She stayed in her space and I stayed in mine. We never spoke. I found them together in our room once and he quickly explained that the tv in the basement was not working so they were forced to use the one in our bedroom. I am sure by now that you must think that I am out of mind for allowing this...but I did. I love my husband and this made him happy. It wasn't so bad, that is...until I noticed him slipping out of bed in the middle of the night one night. She must have been on his mind. I could tell because he had been tossing and turning. I pretended to be sleep when he left, but I had to know. I had to see ...so I followed him. I glided stealthily behind him as he descended 1 flight of stairs...I made note of his agility, and the care he took not to make a single sound. He was guided by the light of the moon that shined through the kitchen window. I stayed in the shadows as he flung open the door to the basement and made his final descent. I waited a moment before I cracked the door open ever so slightly. I could see the light from the television flickering. I could hear him. He was speaking very softly at first, so soft that I could barely hear him...I opened the door wider. I just had to hear what he was saying! I had to find out what they were doing! With my back against the wall I quietly slid down the stairwell, got on my knees and peeked around the corner. There he was on the couch. All I could see was his silhouette against the sharp brightness of the large screen in front of him. I could hear him laughing at first and then cursing as he caressed her and yes, she responded to his touch. I could see him squirming while stroking her smooth black skin. Digging his thumbs into her. Pushing all the right buttons and leaning back as he...SCORED!! and with that he stood up... threw down his controller... and did a victory dance that looked very odd with him in his underwear. Yep, he was playing Madden 09 on his PS2 aka his "mistress"

Ladies...LOL I hope I had you going!!!

If any of you have men in your lives that love "The Game" the way my hubby does...raise ya hands by leaving a comment! (Any game applies!)


Thanks for reading :-)

The Steve McNair Murder - Real Talk

We have all seen the headlines. Steve McNair - Murder/Suicide. I really dont want to sound judgemental, but this situation has opened up a conversation about fidelity and marriage that needs to be discussed. All respect and condolences to Mrs. Mechelle McNair, who i feel is the real victim in all of this. I have read some really horrible blog posts about how maybe Steve wasn't getting what he needed at home, or how Mrs. McNair had to know about the affair, etc. All of that is irrelevent to me. Because guess what??..this woman now has to bury her husband who has publicly disgraced her and her boys in his death. Mr. McNair was married and his responsibility was to his wife and kids. Not to some random hottie that he met at a Dave & Busters 6 months prior. Now his sons must grow up without a father over what? Some poontang? (yeah I said "POONTANG") Was she worth it? I doubt it. IMO married men that cheat on their wives are selfish, insecure, losers. I don't care how it's justified. My thing is, why get married if thats not what you want to do? I mean its a choice. right? So why do it, and then cheat? If you dont want to be in the marriage, why not get a divorce? Why put everyone through the drama of an affair? I have seen firsthand how lives can be ripped apart due to infidelity within a marriage. My own dad cheated on my mom and got the other woman pregnant. OF COURSE he told the other woman that he was going to leave my mom... and when he didnt the other woman attempted suicide. I'll never forget it, I had to be about 10 maybe and suddenly there I was at my grandmother's house being introduced to a 2 year old boy, my brother, because his mother was in the hospital. I will never forget the look on my mothers face when she came to pick us up that day. She took one look at the boy and in that instant I knew that something was wrong. She divorced him that same year and I am glad she did. Instead of letting us grow up in a house of lies, abuse & infidelity, she chose to raise us by herself with the truth. My dad ended up shacking up with the other woman for many years after the divorce and had 2 more children, he never married her and was very abusive to her throughout their relationship (physically, mentally and emotionally). He never even gave the 3 kids they had together his last name. You get what you ask for and the grass always seems greener on the other side, right? This is why the McNair story hits me so close to home. My father is dead now, may he rest in peace, my momma actually grabbed the other woman's hand during the funeral and held it as a show of forgiveness and closure (that is classic behavior for my mother, she is a real queen). but when I think of the countless lives that he negatively affected with his infidelity, abuse and lies... and I dont even want to talk about the BAGFUL of issues that came about for me because of this...

So here is my wisdom for the day...you can take it or leave it.

GUYS: If you want to still sleep around in this age of HIV and seriously psychotic women...DON'T GET MARRIED! If you are already married and are cheating, STOP IT or at least be a man about it and give your wife the chance to choose whether she wants to be with your sorry cheatin ass! And especially if there are children involved. If you think that kids cant feel whats going on, you are mistaken. They are more perceptive than you think. You are teaching your daughters that its ok, to allow a man to use and abuse her, and you are teaching your sons that its ok to be disrespectful to women

LADIES: Young and old, if you are messin with a married man STOP IT. There are a million reasons why you shouldn't, but I will just give you a few. #1 if he truly wanted to be with you..he would. #2. Have some respect for youself...dont let this guy use you like that. trust and believe that he IS using you. A woman deserves to be with a man that truly wants to be with her. #3. If he will lie to his wife by being with you, what makes you think you can trust this guy with your heart?

Warning Signs
-If you have been dating him for months and have never been to his house...he's married
-If he has you on a visitation schedule, meaning he only comes to see you at certain times specifically...he's married
-If he is always MIA during major holidays...He's married
-If he says that he is leaving his wife...for you? please..that is the oldest line in the book, dont believe it.




In the event that he leaves his wife to be with you, remember how you got him, cause you will probably lose him the same way

If the untimely murder/death of the brilliant football star Steve McNair doesn't sway you, pick up a copy of Steve Harvey's book "Act Like A Lady - Think Like a Man".
Remember if you choose to ignore what's obvious, you get what you deserve...and Karma can be a mean bitch.

Spiritual Messages:
- Deepest condolences to Mrs McNair, may God give you the strength to raise those boys without their dad and also pray that God see fit to bless with a man that wants you and only you, one day.
- RIP Steve McNair OF COURSE i dont know you, but my hubby enjoyed watching you play, and you kinda put us all in your business...soooo, if you see my dad, whereever you are, tell him that I said, "What's Up!?"


...Stay Tuned and please don't forget to follow & comment :-)



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